


Individual

by CitizenoftheWorld



Series: They're human too [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Brotherhood, Canon Character of Color, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Character Study, Crack, Gen, Group discussions, Idol Jeon Jungkook, Idol Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Idol Kim Namjoon | RM, Idol Kim Seokjin | Jin, Idol Kim Taehyung | V, Idol Min Yoongi | Suga, Idol Park Jimin, Insecure Jeon Jungkook, Insecurity, Jeon Jungkook-centric, Light Angst, Loneliness, Other, Shitty Friends, Stand Alone, fake love (pun intended), friends - Freeform, mild crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 02:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15305097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitizenoftheWorld/pseuds/CitizenoftheWorld
Summary: If he had been less guarded and more like the other guys, he would have been drunk and unable to feel the cold night air cut through his thin clothes.“Jungkook,” Jimin’s voice sounded softer over the phone, coaxing, “is something wrong?”“No,” his voice cracked. His lips started to tremble. It was cold, that’s the excuse.“You don’t need to lie to us,” Jimin pressed. “What happened?”[Jungkook feels like he should have his own friends, but he only has Bangtan]





	Individual

### [Individual]

If he had been less guarded and more like the other guys, he would have been drunk and unable to feel the cold night air cut through his thin clothes.

It was irrationality that made his feet drag him towards the big city lights in the distance; Seoul, home to all the dreamers. It had been his home more than Busan had ever been. It felt wrong to admit that. He couldn’t truthfully talk with pride like Jimin always did when referring to their hometown. He didn’t really grow up there, he hadn’t made any real friends there. Seoul had been his city and it had been as cold as this night and as lonely as the vacant road he had somehow found himself stranded on.

Jungkook had felt like he was the only one lost in Seoul. That was until he met Namjoon and gradually the other members of their group. The managers and staff had been there for him during his fasted growing phase. He had all those people and had felt their love and returned it, though he couldn’t help but feel a little awkward about his life outside the company and the members.

He had none.

It was always felt starkly shoved in his face when Seokjin would mention some of the friends he had made at college. Or the way Yoongi would angrily, yet endearingly, refer to his hometown neighbours. Hoseok was always happy to find any occasion to go back home, as he had people or a special someone waiting for him. Taehyung and Jimin had gone together to middle school when they had just made their debut and had enough time to hang out with some friends after school. Jungkook could have done the same, as he had also been in school in Seoul then, but that hadn’t seem important or possible. He had his group, his work and he was not sociably charged like most of them.

He hadn’t felt bad about his lack of connections outside of the members, especially when Namjoon confessed that he himself had lost a lot of friends by joining their group. Namjoon had very earnestly shared with all the boys that for that time being, they are _it_ for him and to please take that into consideration,

Jungkook had wanted to jump in and claim that he felt the same way, but he hadn’t. It hadn’t felt right since it had been Namjoon’s issue, so he had stayed quiet. He’d watched how as time passed by, Namjoon had made new friends outside their group and started confidently talk about _some friends_ whenever.

Jungkook was alone in that matter.

Turning away from the city showed no signs of a car or any form of life. The streetlights were placed further apart from one another than they would appear when driving. Jungkook felt like every unlit space on the road could swallow him up and make him breakdown like he truly wanted to.

Looking at the time on his phone, he cursed himself and his own stupidity. This whole thing had been a big bluff and everyone probably saw through him. His pride had made him waddle in the dark for almost an hour now. It was time to stop and reach out.

“Jungkook?” That was the voice of Jimin.

“Hey,” Jungkook whispered into his phone. Somehow disturbing the quiet night felt like breaking a more important rule than jaywalking.

“Is that Jungkook?” The voice on the background of Jimin’s line was definitely Seokjin. Jungkook winced. He had hoped to notify the least amount of members on his situation. “Where is he?” Seokjin demanded. “I don’t know,” Jimin’s clearer voice sounded. “Jungkook, where are you? Why are you calling?”

“I’m just calling,” Jungkook said. “Just wanted to know what you guys were up to. You busy?”

“Jungkook,” Jimin said slowly. “Are you hiding in a bathroom or something? Are you not having fun with the guys?”

 _The guys_ , that was how Jungkook had pitched this night out to the members. He had contacted some classmates he hadn’t seen or talked to in ages and suggested a meet up of some sorts. It was something that people did, as he had heard his managers talk about it. Now, he had not been friends with these classmates – he had been too busy with the group for that – but he had considered them the closest to school friends he would ever have. That was until the stunt they just pulled on him.

“I’m not hiding,” Jungkook said. He couldn’t hide on a such an empty road. “I’m just- everyone is just occupying themselves right now.”

It was silent on the other end. Jungkook clutched the phone with more force as the seconds passed by.

He only had this. He only had them.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s voice sounded softer over the phone, coaxing, “is something wrong?”

“No,” his voice cracked. His lips started to tremble. It was cold, that’s the excuse.

“You don’t need to lie to us,” Jimin pressed. “What happened?”

Jungkook let go of a shaky breath. “I messed up,” he confessed. “I’m sorry, but I messed up big time and I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, Jungkook,” Jimin sounded less confident. “It’s good that you called. We can help you, yes?”

Jungkook nodded more desperately than he intended and was grateful for the dark space between the streetlights, for no one on this earth could have possibly seen him by accident. “Yea-yeah.”

“I’ll put you on speaker phone, yeah? The other guys want to help,” Jimin informed. A moment later he heard some clattering and voices. He could immediately imagine their dorm. He wondered in whose room they were in and if all of them were there. “Hey, Jungkook! Are you okay? Where are you?” Seokjin. “Kook, we will help you man, don’t worry.” Taehyung. “Can you tell us where you are and if you’re okay?” Namjoon.

“I’m fine,” Jungkook responded. “I’m not hurt… just a little cold.”

“Are you outside?” Hoseok asked surprised. “It’s very cold right now. You should get inside.”

“I know, I know… I’m just not near a house right now.”

“Where are you?” Seokjin demanded, this time a little more sterner than any of them have been.

“I’m walking on a road,” Jungkook said softly. “The one that goes to Yangju”

“You’re walking?” “What are you doing there?” “You have a coat?” “Where are your friends?” the last question was asked by Yoongi and cut through the pretence of everything being alright.

“They left,” Jungkook said and lowered the phone away from his face as he let go of a breath he wasn’t so sure would turn stay a breath as he felt like crying. He had drunk a fair amount of alcohol, it made all of this a little more shittier than it should be. It made him a little more pathetic than he already was. It felt suiting though. He brought the phone back to his ear and didn’t wait to hear any of their questions out as he knew that they wanted to know what had happened. “We were in the car on our way to Yangju because of some stupid bet and… I don’t really know what happened precisely, I was out of it in the back. Then they… they started saying I lost the game or something and had to walk for the rest of the route.”

“Jungkook,” Jimin said in a voice that held so much disappointment that Jungkook would have thrown up right then and there had he fully given himself to the alcohol.

“I thought- think they’re joking. But it’s been awhile and I don’t know what to do.”

“Fucking bastards,” Hoseok.

“You did the right thing calling one of us,” Namjoon said. “We can come and pick you up. What those friends did was nasty.”

“You don’t have to,” Jungkook objected.

“But do you want us to?” Namjoon insisted. _Do you want our help? Will you accept our help?_

Namjoon always asked his question like this. There was no room for misinterpretation. They would not do anything without Jungkook wanting it to happen. They did not let their own emotion dictate what someone else should do, even when they probably knew best; even when it was very clear that Jungkook had messed up.

“Please,” Jungkook ended up with.

“That’s good, Jungkook,” Namjoon said. “Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung are on their way. You can stay or keep on walking if you want. Just stay on the road and they’ll find you.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook said.

“You shouldn’t have to thank us,” Yoongi said. He sounded pissed. “There is nothing you can’t ask of us. Seriously.”

Jungkook nodded. He felt better knowing they were on their way. He wouldn’t have to wonder whether a car from Yangju would show up. A car from Seoul was on its way.

-

As soon as Jungkook got in the car, Taehyung flung his body around Jungkook. The warm air from the car hit his face like a slap and the soothing music on the background made his shivering stop for a moment and his aching body slump in the embrace that was quickly joined by Jimin.

Behind the wheel Seokjin sighted contend. “Let’s get you back home.”

-

It had been late that night, so they had decided to sleep and talk the next day. Jungkook shared his room with Namjoon. Namjoon had still talked about some philosophies on friendship when they had their lights turned off and had already wished each other a good night. He sometimes did that. He liked to talk in the dark, not expecting Jungkook to respond and Jungkook liked the cadence of his voice as it carried a story that he could not completely follow as tiredness and dread would take over and pull him into a sleep that had Namjoon’s theories and thoughts influencing the atmosphere of his dreams. That night Jungkook had felt reassured. He was not alone.

-

 The thing was, that night had been one of the few days off they got during comeback season. They would be constantly busy after that and Jungkook could see how the happenings of last night would be overshadowed by their workload. It was logical, nothing personal, though somewhat impractical.

“We’re going to be busy,” Namjoon said when he, Jimin, Hoseok and Jungkook were waiting in a dressing room before a variety show. Everyone agreed with him. “We’ll have to talk during lunch then,” he stated. It was already too late for that meal to be called lunch, but that was how they keep track of time. The second meal of the day, no matter what time, is called lunch even if others would call it dinner. “Try and get everyone together by then, yeah?”

Jimin swiftly shot up as if he was ready to go find the others, but that was just nervous energy. Jungkook felt it too. He had been avoiding the looks of his older brothers all day.

-

Soon enough when the recordings where done and the members were dressed in their own clothing again, Seokjin informed their managers kindly that the members would have a meal privately leaving the reason a mystery. Yoongi found an empty dressing room and ordered the food over there.

“I’m fucking starving,” Jimin groaned when the food had finally arrived. They were given two hours before they needed to hit the road, with a short pitstop at home to shower and collect luggage, in order to get on a plane to Japan.

“Then eat fucking breakfast like the rest of us,” Taehyung growled.  Yoongi snorted at this. Seokjin shook his head.

“Let’s eat and talk later,” Hoseok said. Everyone agreed by diving in.

The food was not phenomenal. It was junk and Jungkook always wondered how much their specialised vitamin drinks could compensate for the amount of junk they ate during busy schedules.

“Who wants to start and has something they want to say first?” Namjoon said solemnly when all the food was gone and everyone was merely sucking on straws. “Jungkook?” He casted his eyes on the younger. They didn’t all turn their heads towards him like he hates, they stopped doing that when they found out how it made him very anxious.

“I can start,” Jungkook said. “I can explain what happened.”

Namjoon nodded. “That’s good.”

“I was going to meet up with the guys at a party, near school.” He still called it school even after the years that had gone by, but everyone knew what he meant by that. Namjoon started to frown and Jungkook knew why. “They said it would be very lowkey, you know ten people max. So I- I don’t think anyone took pictures of me or something like that. They were old classmates. They never really did that.”

“But you went with some guys right?” Hoseok asked. “Do we know them?”

Jungkook shook his head. “Two guys from class. I used to eat lunch with them from time to time- when we weren’t busy with schedule. I still had their numbers, so I-”

“-you texted them?” Yoongi asked. “Why?”

Jungkook shrugged, “Why not?”

“No, seriously. Why did you want to get in touch with them again? You never spontaneously hang out with anybody. Why them out of all people?” Yoongi was always sharp when he sensed bullshit.

“What’s wrong with them?” Jungkook shot back weakly.

“They treated you like shit,” Yoongi spat.

Jungkook shrugged again. “They were just joking.”

“It wasn’t just joking. They don’t care.”

“So what?” Jungkook fired back with little respect in his tone and he hated this. They never took him serious when he would raise his voice. They would only see a small kid trying to prove himself. Which was actually, ironically, exactly what he was trying. “Don’t you guys go out with friends and hang out like that? Don’t you have other adventures that aren’t exactly wise, but fun?”

“Jungkook,” Hoseok said very quietly as if he didn’t want to set Jungkook off again.

“I’m sorry for my tone,” Jungkook said quickly.

“Do you think we have more fun without you?” Seokjin asked while sitting lazily on a couch with a can of beer in his hand and had nothing of a joking air to his composure. He was the oldest and Jungkook was reminded by that once again. “Or that we have more fun outside this group?”

Taehyung started to frown very deeply at this and looked at Jungkook with a look that was something close to surprised but had a tad of hurt in it. “You know it’s Bangtan first, right?”

“I know, I know. I just-” They could no longer pretend to not know that Jungkook felt left out in a way. Everyone knew, which was why Jimin nodded at what Taehyung had to say. “I know,” Jungkook said again, “but it has been Bangtan first forever for me. I don’t- I have always been focussed on our group. I don’t have other friends. I don’t know anyone outside of Bighit. I have no one else to turn to when I mess up. But you all do. You always talk about your friends from school or shit.”

“Jungkook,” Namjoon said at the foul language used against his older brothers. “It’s not a competition.”

“I know. Which is why it’s stupid. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

Namjoon shook his head. “It’s not stupid. I get it. You don’t want to be too depended on us. That’s not stupid. It’s normal and healthy.”

“What those guys did was not normal or healthy, Namjoon,” Yoongi cut in sour.

Namjoon looked defensively at Yoongi. “Well maybe not healthy, but not absurd. People suck most of the time.”

“I want to make a joke, but right now is not the time,” Hoseok murmured.

Jimin shot him a knowing look and Jungkook couldn’t help the small smile that wurmed its way on his face. They couldn’t stay serious for ever when it was all of them together. “Please don’t,” Jimin hissed.

“Well,” Taehyung cut through with a light voice. “If you want to meet new friends, I can introduce you to some people you might like.”

Jimin shook his head. “That won’t do. Jungkook wants to be independent. You introducing him to someone else would defeat the purpose.”

“But that is basically how people meet. What else can we do to help him?” Taehyung turned to Jimin. “You got better ideas?”

“Guys,” Jungkook said before Jimin got seriously provoked. “I don’t need any of that. I was just trying something out when I called up those guys. It won’t happen again.”

Seokjin shook his head. “No, Jungkook. Don’t talk like that. You think you’re the only one who has rocky relations with his peers? I remember losing a lot of my college friends and not feeling like I fit in this whole idol thing. It’s trial and error. And like Tae said, it has been Bangtan first because Bangtan has been there when no one else had been there. That does not mean that you need to outgrow us like it’s a game. That can take time-”

“-a long time,” Jimin cut in.

“-how about an infinite amount of time,” Taehyung added.

“-right, a long time,” Seokjin agreed, “I just want you to take your time and not feel pressured. Meeting new people is always exiting and even if it’s one of Tae’s friends or Jimin’s or even mine, it does not mean that you are too dependent.”

“You shouldn’t be afraid to ask anything from us,” Yoongi said passionately in a sullen way, “that you called us is nothing you should be sorry for. It’s what friends are for and we wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Jungkook felt his cheek burn. He felt like such a child. It was only natural for this to turn into a lecture.

“I get it,” Jungkook sighted.

Namjoon chuckled. “You’re sick of us talking.”

Jungkook showed him a lopsided grin. “I don’t mean to. I know you guys mean the best. I just don’t know what to do from now on.”

“What do you want?” Namjoon asked tactfully.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” the words slipped out of his mouth like nothing and Jungkook winced at how stupid they sounded.

Without missing a beat, Namjoon continued. “That one is easy since you aren’t. But can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“Will you drop those two friends? They don’t seem to be worth it. There are way more amazing people out there.”

Jungkook nodded. “I know. I did, they’re gone to me.”

Namjoon nodded too. “You want anything else?”

Jungkook shook his head. “I just need some time to think.”

“I understand,” Namjoon said. “I- just know that you are just as important to us as we are to you.”

Jungkook looked up to find a very pink faced leader looking at him.

Taehyung was the first one to burst out. “Awh, look at him being all touching like that!”

Hoseok was laughing without covering his face. “He turned it into a love song. Shit man, I want to be Joon’s future girlfriend!”

“Shut up,” Namjoon muttered.

Jimin was laughing alongside Hoseok, but Seokjin and Yoongi merely held small smiles on their faces. It was clear, they were all embarrassed at how real it got. Jungkook couldn’t help but giggle too.

“Do we need to hug now?” Yoongi said.

Jimin rolled his eyes and turned to whoever would listen. “Look at him, he always says that when he wants a hug,” he turned to Yoongi, “if you want a hug just ask or go for it.”

Yoongi shrugged unbothered. “At least I’m polite.”

Seokjin was the first to get up. “Ah, no thanks. We’re all tired and nasty. I don’t need hugs.”

Namjoon shook his head at that. “Someone should have recorded him saying that.”

Taehyung got up too and went to Yoongi to give him a hug. Yoongi seemed to appreciate it for a minute before his look turned sour. “Stop hugging me, kid!”

“You’re also a kid,” Taehyung shot back.

“Go hug Jungkook!” Yoongi retorted to get out a seemingly strong grip from Taehyung.

Hoseok was first to attack Jungkook, followed by Jimin and Namjoon. Underneath all the bodies and their warmth, Jungkook felt more weight added to their hug. Maybe Taehyung and Yoongi.

“Unbelievable,” Seokjin’s voice came from the off side. “If a manager walked in he would think we wanted a private room only to hug.”

“Just join us,” Namjoon said in that childish manner he had sometimes.

Seokjin sighed, but ended up only patting all of their heads. “It’s time to go, kids. We said all we needed to say.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> “Please get off of me,” Jungkook said from underneath the embrace. 
> 
> “But we’re dependent of you,” Hoseok sing-songed. “Ah!”
> 
> “Too soon,” Namjoon hissed.  
> \---- You can ignore that ---
> 
> Share your thoughts and let me know if you want to see more of this type of thing.


End file.
